Time spent studying is never wasted.
Did you know that entrance exams for Trafford’s grammar schools have a success rate of just 25% (approximately)? This gloomy statistic means that disappointment looms for three quarters of all the hundreds of children awaiting their results. Facing up to failure is grim, but there are things you can say to let them know it’s not the end of the world.
Firstly, don’t make a big deal out of it if your child seems unbothered. This is a good thing: be glad. Keep them busy after the results come out so they don’t have time to dwell, but be vigilant in case they do want to talk about how they are feeling.
If your child takes it badly, you might find they will want to unburden themselves; we hope you will find the following advice helpful.
Things your child might say
“I’ve let you down.”
Your answer: No, you haven’t. You gave it your best shot. OK, maybe (in some cases) you didn’t give it your best shot. But you are ten or eleven years old. It’s OK not to study till your brain whirls.
“I’ve wasted my time.”
Your answer: No, you haven’t. If you have been working hard to prepare for entrance exams, you will have gained good study skills that will stay with you forever. You will use these skills time and again throughout your life. Furthermore, you have learned how to cope with not getting what you want.
“I’m a failure.”
There are two answers for this one.
Your answer #1: No, you are not. You took an exam in which the bar was set sky high. This is not an exam for children who are average or a little above average. This is an exam that only the top two or three in every Year 6 class will pass. So failing an entrance exam doesn’t make you a failure; it just means that you’re probably not among the top two or three students in the class. You might be fabulous at art, at gymnastics, at swimming, at singing, at anything at all or nothing at all (you are, after all, still only ten or eleven years old), but entrance exams are too narrow to take account of any of that. They only test a tiny part of the fantastic human being that you are. Above all, remember that you are not your exam result.
Your answer #2: We all are! Everybody in the world is a failure until they achieve their goal.
“I’m not clever.”
Your answer: Whilst passing an entrance exam does mean that you are very clever indeed, failing it doesn’t mean that you are not clever. It means you are not part of the top 25% or so of children who took the test (and most of those who took the test are of average or above average intelligence). If you score 200 or above, that’s pretty impressive.
Even if you scored zero, it doesn’t mean you’re not intelligent. Maybe you were nervous, or ill or you were just a bit too young to be sitting a three hour exam. Whatever the reason is, you’re in good company because, just like you, around 75% of children who sit the entrance exams do not pass.
Most people who can drive have to sit their test more than once because they fail it the first time. Does this mean that most people are bad drivers? Of course not. There will be other exams, and most of them will not be nearly as difficult as the entrance exams for grammar school.
