What can Andy Murray’s defeat teach us about success?

Straight after losing to Roger Federer in the Wimbledon Men’s Singles final, Andy Murray declared, “I’m getting closer.”  Having suffered defeat in – many claim – the biggest match of his career, Murray’s positive attitude rescued him from failure and repositioned him as a man on the road to success.

Whether children are preparing for important exams, a sporting event or any kind of competition, it can be hard for parents to know how best to support them.  Parents want to encourage without applying too much pressure, yet we are painfully aware there is but a fine line between the two.

So what can Andy Murray teach us about preparing for success?

Firstly, be ambitious but realistic.

Andy Murray isn’t shy about stating he plans to win a Grand Slam title one day soon, but he also acknowledges that he is competing against the world’s greatest athletes and that his ambition is not an easy one to achieve.  I’d like to walk the Great Wall of China, redecorate my entire house and write a novel by Christmas, but I have to be realistic and accept that I’ll be lucky to finish this blog post.

Are your child’s goals realistic?  If their teachers predict a GCSE grade E, they are highly unlikely to achieve a grade A, but they could still aim for a C grade.  If they want to play football for Manchester United/ City, shouldn’t they first aim to be picked to play for the school team?  Your child should reach for the stars by all means but you need to help them recognise they need to work out a step-by-step plan to get to where you’re going.

Secondly, get SMART

Young people (actually, I think this applies to everyone) respond well to SMART targets:

S-pecific,
M-easureable,
A-ttainable,
R-ealistic,
T-ime-bound.

So being able to go from National Curriculum Level 3b to Level 4b within twelve months would be a suitable SMART target for most Key Stage 2 students; “getting really good at sport” wouldn’t be a SMART target at all (which sport?  What does ‘good’ mean?  When is the deadline?).

Thirdly, to fail is not to become a failure – it just means you haven’t succeeded yet.

This is kind of another way of suggesting that if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.

Andy Murray has lost more matches than he has ever won – such is the life of a professional tennis player.  If he had given up after his first Grand Slam, he wouldn’t have found himself on Wimbledon’s Centre Court yesterday, with the eyes of the world upon him.

Michael Jordan, the world’s most successful basketball player and one of the most successful sportspersons of all time has this to say:

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

If your child suffers a defeat or a failure, help them refocus their attention by finding out how and when they can resit.  If a resit isn’t possible, help them identify a new goal to work towards.  Work out a plan to help them achieve their new goal and don’t dwell on failure.

As Winston Churchill said, “Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.”

Andy Murray will no doubt be nodding in agreement as he picks up his tennis racquet and starts again…

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net